Jewish and Christian Wedding Traditions
Shouting "Mazal Tov!" is one of the most well-known Jewish wedding rituals. Once the ceremony is over and the glass is broken, you will hear guests cheer "Mazal Tov!" Mazal Tov translates to “May you have good fortune!”
There's no better time to say "Mazal Tov" than at a wedding!
Kippah (ke-pa) is the Hebrew word for skullcap, also referred to in Yiddish as a yarmulke. Jewish law requires men to cover their heads as a sign of respect and reverence for G‑d when praying, studying Torah, saying a blessing or entering a synagogue. It is customary at weddings and other religious ceremonies as well.
This practice has its roots in biblical times, when the priests in the Temple were instructed to cover their heads.
Traditionally, Jewish men and boys wear the kippah at all times, a symbol of their awareness of, and submission to, a higher entity.
*Kippahs will be available at the ceremony for guests who would like to wear one.
A Bedeken ceremony or "veiling of the bride" takes place before the wedding. The couple sees each other for the first time during the Bedeken, beforehand the bride and groom are separated.
It also is a tradition stemming from the Bible wherein Jacob was tricked into marrying the sister of the woman he loved because the sister was veiled. If the groom does the veiling himself, such trickery can never happen.
A symbol of modesty, the veil expresses the idea that above physical appearance, the groom is drawn to his bride’s inner beauty. The groom and his male friends and relatives make a joyful processional to the bride, who sits surrounded by female loved ones. As guests sing and dance, the groom places a veil over the bride’s face.
A traditional Ketubah (kuh-too-buh) is a Jewish religious document and a wedding contract that is signed by the bride, groom, and at least two witnesses prior to the wedding ceremony.
In ancient times, it was a legal document that detailed some of the rights and obligations of the bride and groom. It talked about property rights but never mentioned a word about a couple's love and commitment.
Modern ketubot (plural) are typically spiritual covenants, not legal documents, that the bride and groom make with each other. Today, ketubot include the English and Hebrew date and place of the wedding as well as some expression of the couple's spiritual and emotional commitment to each other. In this way, the Ketubah is similar to the Christian tradition of exchanging verbal vows. Ketubot can also be works of art and are a visual testament to the love that the couple share.
A Huppah (hoop-ah) is a Jewish Wedding Canopy with four open sides. Jewish wedding ceremonies typically occur under a Huppah and the canopy is generally large enough to suggest a home or shelter.
It primarily symbolizes G-d's presence and the home the couple will create together. The sides of the canopy remain open, reminiscent of Abraham's hospitality, a symbol of the importance of the couple's involvement with their community and with their family and friends.
In Christian wedding tradition, the processional begins with the grandparents, flows through the parents, groom, officiant, wedding party, flower girl, and ring bearer, and ends with the bride making her entrance escorted by her father.
In Jewish wedding tradition, the processional is a bit different. After the rabbi, the bride’s grandparents and the groom’s grandparents are escorted down the aisle, followed by the groomsmen and best man. The groom is then escorted by his parents down the aisle, followed by the bridesmaids and maid of honor. The bride is then escorted by both of her parents down the aisle.
Readings are common tradition in Christian weddings and can come from biblical or secular sources. They are usually quotes or passages selected by the couple that they find meaningful and have resonated with them in some way. For weddings the readings are generally about love and the relationship between the couple.
Christian weddings typically include two biblical readings, one from the Old Testament (aka the Tanakh or Hebrew Bible), and one from the New Testament.
The Sheva B'rachot, translates to "The Seven Blessings", are based on ancient teachings, which begin with the blessing over the wine and ending with a communal expression of joy. The blessings are about the creation of the world, the creation of humankind, the unity of loving people, and the joy of marriage.
They are often read in both Hebrew and English, and performed by a variety of family members or friends, just as friends and family are invited to recite readings in christian ceremonies.
The tradition of Foot Washing finds its roots in John 13:1-17 of the New Testament, wherein Jesus washed the feet of his disciples as a symbol of humility and submission in service to his followers. He then instructs them to do the same to others.
I have always found the example that Jesus sets by washing his disciples feet to be both significant and meaningful. The core message is one that I strive to emulate and try to keep foremost in my mind while interacting with others. I have found it to be especially relevant in the context of my relationship with Shir. At times, my strong feelings for Shir can make acts of submission and humility feel like the most easy and natural thing in the world, but at other times those same feelings can make it feel like the hardest thing I have ever done.
Submission and humility is not only challenging when you are the one doing the serving, but sometimes it can also be difficult to be the one served. Being vulnerable and allowing someone else to help you can be its own test in humility and submission.
This is exemplified when Peter, one of Jesus' disciples, initially refuses to allow Jesus to wash his feet, but eventually consents after a gentle rebuke.
The exchanging of vows is when the couple takes turns expressing a spiritual and emotional commitment to each other. In this way, vows are similar to a verbal version of the Jewish Ketubah. The bride and groom may choose to use traditional vows or to write and read their own personalized promises.
There are several reasons why it is customary for a glass to be broken at the conclusion of a Jewish wedding ceremony.
Symbolically, the breaking of the glass reminds us of the fragile nature of life. The custom has also come to symbolize the shattering of the old and the beginning of the new. The breaking of the glass signifies the uniqueness of the moment that arises and passes away, a letting go of the past and looking toward the future.
This will be an interfaith ceremony, that brings together two people from different religious and cultural backgrounds. Therefore, this symbol can help us and our guests become especially mindful of the barriers that people erect between one another. We hope that with the breaking of the glass, together we will see a breaking down of the barriers between people and help create a world based on love, unity, peace, and understanding.
Lastly, the breaking of the glass is irrevocable and permanent; so, too, may this marriage last an infinity of time–as long as it would take to reassemble the broken pieces of this glass. The breaking of the glass represents a turning point in our lives as we pledge our love and make a new commitment to one another.
The meaning and purpose of "saying grace" before a meal is to acknowledge our dependence on G-d and to give thanks to Him for meeting our need for food and drink. It is also sometimes called “saying the blessing”. Such prayers follow the examples of Jesus and the apostle Paul, both of whom “said grace” before meals.
In Christian tradition, expressing gratitude to G-d before a meal is an example of a broader belief that applies to all aspects of one's life as indicated in 1 Corinthians 10:31, "So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of G-d."
"Blessing" does not mean that the food itself has changed in any physical or metaphysical manner. It is understood that the core purpose of the meal is to nourish our bodies and better equip ourselves to serve G-d. Matthew 15:11 explains the distinction, "It is not what goes into the mouth that defiles a person, but what comes out of the mouth; this defiles a person.”
Birkat Hamazon, is also known colloquially as “benching,” the English version of the Yiddish term bentshn, which means to bless. This blessing (which is actually a series of blessings) is mandated for use following any meal in which bread has been eaten, since according to Jewish law, eating bread officially constitutes a meal. Birkat Hamazon can be said sitting at the same table or in view of the same table where the meal was eaten. At weddings or Shabbat meals, it is often said communally.