Ruth and Jesse have known of each other since 2014 through Bethel Campus Fellowship, but never had an actual conversation until 2017. They were partnered for a wedding that year, and during the reception time someone texted Ruth saying a lot of great things about Jesse. She didn’t really pay much attention to him before that, but definitely noticed that he was a nice guy. A few weeks go by and Ruth starts to think about Jesse and begins to have a slight crush on him. Early 2018, they connected through Instagram and started conversing. This led to exchanging phone numbers and continuing the conversation through text. Ruth began to pray and told a few mentors what was going on. Apparently Jesse wasn’t really thinking of Ruth in that way, because he had his mind elsewhere and was going through a rough season. Through healing, prayer and confirmations—Jesse began to realize that Ruth was everything He had been praying for when it came to knowing his wife. On August 18, 2019 Jesse asked Ruth if she would like to attend engagement bootcamp with him, and she said, “yes”! And on November 8, 2019, he proposed and asked her if she would do him the honor of being his wife and bestfriend for life and she said, “OF COURSE”!!! Now they are on the journey to officially saying, "YES, OF COURSE I DO" ;) --all by the grace of God!
Wow, where should I begin with this exciting, yet testing journey?! On the weekend of February 8, 2014, I was convinced to attend Bethel Campus Fellowship Conference (BCF), which I did not have a desire to go to at all. After a few people praying and convincing me, I decided to attend the conference. The weekend was awesome and I enjoyed myself. On Saturday, February 8, 2014, I surrendered my life to Christ, believed in my heart and confessed with my mouth that Jesus is Lord.
I vividly recall after surrendering my life (during one of the sessions), I heard the voice of the Lord telling me “Jesse, delete those girls numbers from your phone. The woman I have will be perfect for you”. I thought I was going crazy because I actually heard the voice of God, which was a first for me. I just came out of my sinful life, so I was clearly not thinking about having a wife lol.
After that weekend, I believed in my spirit that I heard the Lord. I then joined the Executive Board team for Bethel Campus Fellowship at Towson University. One of the requirements were to attend Executive Board
Meetings (where BCF E-Board from all Maryland campuses met). This is when I began to notice Ruth and her sister Sophia. They were the “Nathan girls” and a lot of guys wanted them Lol. I specifically recall seeing Ruth at one of the E-Board meetings that were held at UMBC. I remember thinking “oh she is cute,” then not too long after that a vast number of fellas surrounded her and were trying to get her attention. I was like “oh naw, I am not going to compete for no woman” lol. Plus I just got saved and was so focused on Jesus, so I didn’t want anyone to hinder that.
Months go by and I would see Ruth around, but again I was focused on Jesus, so I didn’t pay her any mind. I even attended Sophia’s graduation celebration/ordination, where Ruth led worship, and she looked really good that day (yea I said it lol).
The end of 2015 or the beginning of 2016, I had a very vivid dream. I was in one of the lecture halls at Towson, walking through a large number of women who were trying to seek my attention and time. The women were getting in the way every time I took a step . Through all of this, there was someone leading me through the crowd, and then I heard the voice of God say “Jesse focus.” The person who was leading me through the crowd was Ruth Adaoma Nathan. I woke up like “what, why and how did I dream about about her?!” At this time I didn’t really see her as much nor was she in my radar. Later that day I met up with my boy Jonathan, who is one of my groomsmen, and I told him about the dream and asked him for an interpretation if he had one. He didn’t have one, so I was like cool and left it alone.
In September of 2017 mutual friends of ours, Alemnge and Lexy were getting married, and they partnered Ruth and I together. I didn’t know about this until the day of the wedding. I remember thinking like oh wow it’s Ruth, should I act super holy...lol. But then I was like naw I have Christ in me, and I don’t care what she thinks lol. Anyway, that day was the first time her and I actually spoke to one another. It felt so natural, like we’ve been friends for years. We walked down the aisle as well as danced into the reception together. As we were enjoying ourselves, a good number of people sent me the video of us dancing in together. Apparently it was posted on social media.
At the end of the night I was like, oh she is extremely cool. I then told Zane that I think she is not only cute, but cool as well and left it alone.
Fast forward to May of 2018, I slid into her dms, you know your boy lol. Just kidding, I slid in her dms because I was looking for a Godly community in the DC metropolitan area. I sensed that God wanted me to move back home and since she knows a lot of saved people, I hit her up. Again our conversations were so natural. This was the beginning of our friendship.
In that season of my life, I was going through so much. There was so much confusion and I forgot who I was in Christ. Ruth encouraged and reminded me of my identity in Christ, which was so weird to me. I remember asking God on multiple occasions “why does this feel so natural"?In March of 2019, Ruth attended my birthday dinner and was so supportive towards me. I was like, what’s wrong with this girl and why is she like this? lol.
I refused to get into a relationship because LIFE lol, so we remained friends. God gave me signs left and right, but I acted like Gideon and asked for multiple signs.
At the Fearless Conference of 2019 that Light City Church hosted, my desire of the Lord, was to confirm who my wife is, because women were approaching me more and more. At the conference, which Ruth attended, the spot light was on her... but yes you’re right, I ignored it lol. Her mom suggested that her and I visit a prayer camp in Virginia, can you imagine?! lol. My friend Zane, Ruth, and I went to the prayer camp in August 2019. While at the camp I read, “Then the angel said to her, “Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favor with God.” Luke 1:30 NKJV, I then heard the voice of God say to me, “do not be afraid to take her as a wife”. There were so many factors that caused fear to rise up in me such as: tradition (I’m not really big on that), my own insecurities of being a good husband, etc...
My way of asking her to court me, I inquired if she was interested in attending Engagement Bootcamp? She responded with “I always desired to go so hopefully I can go one day.” I then said, “I know that, but would you like to go with me?” She was so confused and said “wow are you serious?” I was like “yea girl.”
I decided to no longer be double minded and move forward with my decision. God began to deliver me from my insecurities and fears. He affirmed that tradition will not be a hindrance for me and it won’t stop what He has planned.
I spoke to Ruth’s dad, and I told him what my intentions were with Ruth. I asked him for her hand in marriage, and he said he would pray and get back to me. We met often to meet, and he asked a lot of questions lol. Then he set a meeting with my family, and finally gave his YES!
So after that I knew what I needed to do, which was propose. I proposed on Friday, November 8, 2019. I believe this was the best decision I’ve made, after giving my life to Christ.
Soooo where do I even begin honestly ?! Wow! So, when I first saw Jesse it was either at a Bethel Campus Fellowship leadership meeting or event back in 2014/2015. All I remember saying to myself was, this guy kind of resembles Idris Elba... lol, but that was it. I didn’t look at him in ‘that’ way, because I honestly thought he was much younger than me. Time passes, and I don’t see much of Jesse anymore and honestly forgot about him (out of sight, out of mind kind of thing). Apparently he was at my sister’s graduation event (sitting right behind me), and I didn’t even notice... go figure ! Lol.
Fast forward to September 2017, and I’m a bridesmaid for my friends wedding, and he apparently was one of the groomsmen. I found out on the day of the wedding rehearsal that he and I would be partnered together, but I didn’t think anything of it at all. The wedding day comes and we engage in conversation, as we wait to walk into the ceremony together. All I’m thinking to myself is, I’m sleepy and I pray this ceremony isn’t 5 hours long (even though I’m beyond excited for my friends...lol). Reception time starts and Jesse and I dance in together. Everyone was so hype about it, to the point where one of my friends (who went to school with him) texts me saying “Oh my gosh, y’all would look so cute together!” Mind you, she wasn’t even at the wedding. She was watching it on Instagram...mmm. But she starts saying all these great things about him and I realize at that moment he was actually 3 years older than me. I was like oh wow, really ? So, I started paying more attention to him that evening and the ‘slight crush’ started to grow a few weeks later.
Months go by and Jesse adds me as a friend on Instagram. I’m like “oh this guy” lol. I want to say this was in March 2018. Then in April, he starts responding to some of my instastories and congratulating my family and I on our celebrations that month. Then in May 2018, he slides in my DMs again, responding to something I posted. We begin to converse much more than we did before. He eventually says “I’m actually going to be taking a break from Instagram for a while, so here’s my number .....” I was thinking, boy bye... that’s such a smooth way to try to talk to me... not knowing he was really just thinking I was a cool person (and not necessarily trying to “talk” to me).
This story is getting kind of long, so I’m going to condense it.. haha! So we start texting , and then he kind of ghosts me (disappears), but kind of told me he was going to lol. He said he needed time to himself and to pray. It was annoying to me because I started having small feelings for the guy ya know. But I had to also pray about my feelings and heart because he had never said anything about liking me... so I didn’t want to put the cart before the horse. I start praying and August 2018 comes and I ask the Lord to show me confirmations if it was indeed of Him. Confirmation after confirmation came and I began to journal about each and every one of them. This had never happened to me before, so I was like okay this must be God, but I still said to myself that Jesse had to make the decision to choose me. Dreams, confirmations and all these things are great, but if the person doesn’t choose you back, then what can you do... God is still God .. and it will happen with someone else if it’s His will.
But anywho, in November I spoke with a big sister/mentor about him and asked her to basically inquire with him who/what he’s praying about in this season. Long story short, it wasn’t me LOLOLOL. The way, I was just like , okay God, I’m done with this, like what?! I was really in my feelings and even sent him a “sister in Christ” rebuke text because these “brothers in Christ” really try it at times... hmm, but I digress lol. So months go by and he and I eventually have a sit down, face to face conversation about everything. I had already told him in advance that I would be asking serious questions, so he should come prepared to answer. I was not playing y’all! Lol. We agreed to be transparent about everything, especially because he was sooooooo pressed to be my friend ! Seriously Lol.
Fast forward, April 2019, Jesse asks to ‘hang out’ at Swahili Village restaurant after work. We meet up and he starts sharing his heart regarding our friendship and his intentions towards me. He tells me about the dream he had in 2014 or 2015, and I’m like wow! Lol. He was still in a season of praying and trying to figure things out, so he didn’t want to make any sudden moves or statements. He wanted to protect my heart by all means necessary. We intensely prayed and of course the enemy came to attack my health and his during this time. Ah, it was spiritual warfare forreal, but during that time I was able to learn more about him as a person and his caring and loving heart towards me. He didn’t run away, even in the hardest time of my life, and that meant so much to me. It was at that moment when I knew, he was truly different and special.
Our friendship continued to grow throughout the months. Then in August 2019, Jesse asked me to go to Engagement Bootcamp with him. I was confused because we weren’t even together, we were just friends. But my mom had prepared my heart for it. She sent me the flyer for the program the night before he asked (not knowing he was going to ask me), and said “this is starting in October. God is going to settle some things for you”. And I just responded “Amen”... and left it at that. So August 18th, we officially started courting and I was like wow, this is how fast God moves huh?! Lol. Actually it wasn’t really fast, because April to August seemed like forever and I was slightly losing hope. But the Lord kept reassuring me that His promises are surely yes and amen, and I have nothing to worry about or fear. Jesse met with my dad in September when he returned from a trip, and asked for my hand in marriage. My dad took his time to give his response, of course.... but despite his tarrying lol, my dad already knew that something was different about Jesse and that he truly truly loves Jesus. That was always his prayer for us—no matter where the person was from.
3 months go by and my bestfriend/the love of my life surprises me with ............ (read proposal story)
"WAITTTTTT, WHAAAA?!" was Ruth's reaction when she stepped outside. She was definitely surprised ya'll......
Jesse had been telling me that he would possibly propose in 2020 as a way to throw me off. Little did I know, he had already been looking at rings and started the planning for the proposal, not too long after our courtship started. Listen....when the guy knows he knows. Lol. My sister planned a "birthday" dinner on November 8th as a decoy for the proposal and invited her friends and family for an 'intimate' dinner. She intentionally made statements like "please come in your best dressed attire because there will be a photographer there". I did not think anything of it at all, because she seemed serious about having something for her birthday.
A few days before the proposal that I didn't know about, my friends were acting kind of weird. I was on Facetime with one of them and they were asking if I planned on getting my nails redone because they were looking kind of old. I was like abeg, for what?! Even Jesse asked me when I was going to get my hair redone, because my silk press was getting kind of old. I was like, "I don't plan on it", but he still sent me money for it. I was so confused...Lol. A few days go by and I'm on the phone with my sister and she was asking me what I plan on wearing to her dinner. I'm like, "Sophia, I'm going to wear what I wear, why does it matter". And she starts going on and on and asks about my mustard jumpsuit that had been in my closet since early 2019 (never worn). I said, "Sophia, I'm not wearing that to YOUR birthday dinner, does that even make sense"? She starts scolding me and says, "Ruthie please just wear it. I have a vision of how I want everyone to look and the photographer will be there". At this point, I'm confused because I had planned on wearing a simple black dress and call it a night, but that was far from what she had planned for me. Apparently the guest invited were told to wear all black, so I could "pop out". So when she was doing all this, I said to myself something must be up. It was at that moment I went made a new wig for myself so I can be ready in all seasons, ya hear me?! Lol.
The day of the proposal is here and I'm like if anything does happen today, I will not be caught slipping..lol. I went to the nail salon to get my nails done because that was one thing I refused to have...old nails! My friend Sade called me asking why I was at the nail salon, to throw me off. They all thought I knew, to the point where Jesse was about to cancel it because he really wanted it to be a surprise. I went to my hair studio and started curling my wig that I had made the other day. Sade came into the studio and was like, girl what are you doing all this for? And she did all she could to throw me completely off...and it definitely worked! At that point, I was like whateverrrr.
My other friend Erica had planned to meet up with me at the house, so that we could ride together to Sophia's dinner. She sends a text that's she's running late and will be be here by 8, instead of 7:30p. We drive out to the Hyatt Regency in Bethesda where the 'dinner' was and they valeted our parking once we got to the front. We walk in and I notice an intimate dinner with Sophia's friends and our family, but I also notice everyone wearing black. I'm like "Sophia, why in the world did you have me wearing this"? The babe is even wearing all black! So, I literally tightened my jacket/poncho so that I can kind of blend in.
Everyone starts placing their orders for food, and once we did that, we were asked to giving encouraging words/words of affirmation to Sophia for her birthday. My mom started it off, then when I started speaking and I could see Sophia almost tearing up, and I guess because this was all a decoy and I was taking this thing serious. Ya'll I really did not know what was going on. I think the Lord just wiped away my discernment at the moment I walked into the room, because normally I know everything that's going on, but on that day, God must have been like, nope! Lol. So yeah, Carmelius (Sophia's husband) starts saying words of affirmation and mentioned that he had a surprise waiting for her outside. Everyone got excited and was guessing what it could be.
We start walking towards the back door and everyone had their phones out, so I said, okay me too, I will record. We get closer to the door leading to outside, and I see people going to one side and look to my right and I see Jesse's brother (from California) recording me on his tough video camera. And at this point, I realized what was going on and said "Omg, no, no, wait, huh....you guys aren't serious"... They took off my poncho and had me walk towards a crowd of amazing loved ones lined up, each with a rose in their hand. I started getting emotional and honestly couldn't take it because the song that he had introduced me to a few months back, was playing in the background (Darlin by Dante Bowe). That song is so special and dear to my heart. I walk all the way down to Jesse, my forever bestfriend and love of my life. He says his beautiful speech, which was captured on video (watch on Youtube or even Instagram), and then asks me if I'd be his bestfriend for life, and me being me, said "OF COURSEEEEE"!
Never in a million years, would I have imagined marrying someone like Jesse. He is more than I prayed for and has been such a blessing to my family and I. I love the way he loves and takes care of his family. He is truly an answered prayer and God knew what He was doing behind the scenes, even when I had no clue where this part of my life would go. I say all this to say, keep trusting Him. He will NEVER leave you nor forsake you! His promise still stands and He will forever remain faithful!