Husain & Qudsiyya

In the Islamic Law, marriage is an 'aqd, a contract. The components of this contract are as follows:

A. Proposal

In Islam the process of proposal by a man to a woman for her hand in marriage, or for that matter, to her family, is encouraged. Islam considers this natural, and recommends it as an act of respectability and dignity for women.

B. Mahr

And the intending husband is asked to offer a Mahr to the bride.

The Quran says, And give women their Mahr as a free gift, but if they of themselves be pleased to give up to you a portion of it, then eat it with enjoyment and with wholesome result. [28]

The following points are worthy of consideration:

· Mahr must be agreed upon by the marrying partners themselves, not by parents.

· Mahr is her right, to which her husband remains indebted.

· It is a free gift and not her price.

The Mahr may be cash, kind or non-material (like training or teaching something). It can be paid up front or can be in form of promise to pay upon demands decided prior to the solemnization of marriage.3 Moajjal (immediate), Muwajjal and Indat-talab (on demand).

However, it is much recommended to pay it before or at the time of Nikah itself.

C. The Nikah Ceremony

According to Shariah, the wife-to-be says, 'An Kah'tu nafsaka a'lal mah'ril ma'loom'

“I have given away myself in Nikah to you, on the agreed Mahr.”

Immediately, the man (bridegroom) says, 'Qabiltun Nikaha'.

“I have accepted the Nikah.”

With these pronouncements, they become husband and wife.

If the marrying partners are not able to recite the formula in Arabic, one or two persons or priests[29] are appointed and authorized to officiate. One who represents the bride would first seek her explicit consent to officiate on her behalf, and so would the other who acts on behalf of the groom. Naturally, there would be a slight variation in the pronouncements, because the persons reciting them are appointees. A person who represents the bride would initiate by saying, “Ankah'tu muwakkilati muwakkilaka a'lal mah'ril ma'loom.”

“I give away in Nikah the woman who has thus appointed and authorized me, to the man who has authorized you, on an agreed Mahr.”

The groom's representative would respond, “Qabiltunnikaaha limuwakkili a'lal mah'ril ma'loom.”

“I accept the Nikah on behalf of the one who has appointed me, on the agreed Mahr.”

It is mustahab to recite a brief discourse or Khutba before the Nikah formula is enunciated. In this Khutba, Allah is praised for His Wisdom in regulating the lawful process of procreation, and then the traditions from the Prophet (s.a.) are also recited.

D. Time of Marriage Ceremony

Though basically marriage is allowed at all times, there are some days on which marriage is not recommended; some of these are based on ahadith and some on cultural, historical reasons.

Generally, we can categorize these days into three: (a) There are some ahadith which say that it is makruh (not recommended) to have a marriage ceremony on the days when the moon is in the constellation of Scorpio (this is known as al-qamar fil aqrab or qamar dar aqrab), during the last two or three days of the lunar months, and on Wednesdays. (b) There are certain days of the Islamic calendar which have become associated with the early events of the Islamic history; for example, the 10th of Muharram is the day of mourning for the massacre at Karbala or the day of the Prophet's death in Safar, etc. Since such days are commemorated by the Muslims as days of mourning, it is socially and, to some extent, religiously not recommended to have a marriage ceremony on such days.3

If there is a need, however, Nikah, can be performed at any time.

E. Permission of the Bride-to-be/Father

The girl's consent is necessary and has to be taken by her representative, directly.

In case of a virgin/spinster the father's or the grandfather's permission is also necessary. However if the permission is unreasonably withheld under some conditions or the girl has no father/paternal grandfather it is not necessary.

However, a woman who is not a virgin, does not require any permission in case of remarriage.

F. Valima (Dinner)

Valima is highly recommended on the groom. The relatives, neighbours and friends must be invited for Valima. However, lavish spending is not advisable especially when the same money can be used effectively by the couple.

Notes:
[28] Surah Nisa 4:4
[29] Aalim, Maulana or those who are conversant with the correct Nikah procedure and proper Arabic pronunciation.

Qudsiyya Hassim:
Born: Officially on November 8 to Hanief and Shafiya in Potchefstroom.
Schooling: NWU Graduate, Actuarial and Computer Scientist.
Favorite Past times: Socialising, Being creative and keeping Husain on his toes whilst knocking his socks off (a very multifaceted process).
Favorite Things: Laughing, hanging with family and friends, my phone and laptop :), learning about new cultures, trying new places to have “good eats” (common denominator for Husain and I = our love of GOOD food) and anything and everything with Husain at my side.
Family: Shafiya and Late Hanief (parents), Ahmed (brother), Tahseen (sister). Subsequently suffers from O.S.S. (Only-Sister Syndrome), which often evolves into S.O.S. under dire circumstances.
Career: Actuary and Computer Programmer. Defender of Truth. Faithful Friend.
Career Aspirations: To one day become a really good kept woman. And to teach Husain and our future children how to keep up as we build a home of love and laughter.
Best self-descriptor: Fun-lovin'
What I love most about Husain:
1) His innate goodness
2) His hilarious sense of humor
3) His depth
4) His stunning good looks and boyish charm make him the perfect groom for me

Husain Abdoola:
Born: He came into the world on October 21st in Pretoria.
Schooling: University of Pretoria. Expects Qudsiyya to fully refund his tuition for not finding him quicker.
Favorite Past times: watching loud movies and series, and being doted on by Qudsiyya... oh, one more thing: sleeping.
Favorite Things: friends, family, teasing people, and Qudsiyya.
Family: Momina and Late Haroon (parents), sisters Shazia and Shazia, and brothers Ziyaad, Reza and Ebrahim. Neices Zafirah, Rumaisa, Sameeya and Tazkiya. Newphews Mohammed Zuhair and Uwais.
Career: Accountant
Best Self-descriptor: A sometimes quiet, usually laid back, opinionated tease
Friend's best descriptor: That city guy who married that really good-looking farm girl. ;)
What I love most about Qudsiyya:
1) Her spirit and faith
2) Her good heart and endless generosity
3) Her zest for life
4) Her passion for wanting to do her best at everything that she does inspires me.
5) Her enduring patience and ability to find every one of my jokes funny make her the perfect bride for me

"He created for you mates from amongst yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquility with them and He put love and mercy between your hearts - for each other" [Quraan 30':22]

We are thrilled for you to share our special day on February 16th! Invited guests are asked to arrive at Potchefstroom Town Masjid at 11 a.m. the Nikaah.

After the Nikaah ceremony, all guests are invited to a luncheon to celebrate this auspicious occasion at the Madiba Banquet Hall at 12:00 pm.

Come ready to celebrate a memorable day with us.

It took a glorious thing called the Internet to finally bring us together. In a brief, fleeting moment of sheer brilliance, Husain messaged Qudsiyya.

It was not his dashing good looks that initially struck her or his charm but rather the strong impression that she needed to reply to him. And so without hesitation, she replied to his message that started it all.

The connection was immediate. Husain first knew it was love when Qudsiyya expounded upon friendship. Qudsiyya knew Husain was The One when he read every single word of her profile. Either that, or he was a stalker. Fortunately, he proved to be the former.

Theirs has been an overwhelming journey of love. The rest, as they say, is history. And will officially become recorded as such on February 16, 2014.