So the short version of our story is that we met at Howard University School of Law ("HUSL") and we share a name, that brought us together. Exactly how though, is where our stories diverge a bit....
Keep reading on the next pages to hear the story from each of our perspectives.
Lola will argue with me on this, but she doesn’t remember the first time we met. That’s right, Olufunlola Abeni Adeoye, the woman who loves to shout with joy about our relationship from the mountain tops, does not remember when we first met! So off GP (“general principle”), I think my “beginning” story holds a bit more weight.
It was the fall of 2014 at the annual Howard University School of Law (“HUSL”, if you know you know) orientation football game. It’s basically when the third year law students challenge the first years to a game designed for them to suffer an embarrassing defeat. After the game is over the HUSL students usually stick around to eat, hang out, and generally have a good time. I was a third year student and just finished playing when I saw a group of students on the side cackling, joking around, and just having a good time. One of our hilarious mutual friends, Victoria Thomas, was one of the main culprits joking around as per usual. But there was a new person in the mix, some skinny but fine-looking first year with a cute short haircut who was clearly funny, because she was basically the center of attention for a bunch of laughing students. I had to walk over just to see what was so funny. And to be honest, this girl was funny. Anybody who has met Lola knows the girl can clown (“crack a joke”). She is a Leo through and through. I was intrigued :). So after her “stand-up routine” was over, I walked over and introduced myself. Nothing came from it, seemingly innocent. But the important fact is that she doesn’t remember this encounter.
Fast forward to when classes began. It had only been a few weeks since Lola started at HUSL, but people constantly felt the need to tell me there was another first year student, a girl, with my same name. Funny enough I didn’t even realize it was the same Nigerian girl that I met a few weeks earlier. So my response was always the same, “oh yea I heard . . . that’s cool,” essentially unbothered and somewhat unimpressed by the news. Then one day, we saw each other in the hallway of the Dean’s office as I was on my way to class. She said hello as she passed by, I responded “hey” thinking nothing of it (take note of this encounter as you’re reading Lola’s story). She gave me the widest grin ever, and that was it. You can read Lola’s story about how we exchanged numbers, but after that we would text a lot. She would mainly text me to be petty whenever the Wizards played the Bulls and Chicago lost. But eventually our texts became more and more flirty. As a side note, for me personally looks aren’t enough. I mean Lola was fine then, is fine now, and is just getting even finer. But that isn’t enough to hold my attention. There has to be chemistry, a vibe if you will. She has to have some swag. Lola had it all, and I flirted with it. I mean I’m a guy; I couldn’t help myself come on! It wasn’t until the HUSL Public Interest Auction in March the following semester that anything came from this casual flirting. Apparently I was extremely flirty at this event, holding her hand, hugging her, etc. I don’t remember that, but I guess since I don’t remember I can’t deny it. I was walking her to her car when she finally said, “ok, so are you going to ask me out on a date or what?” In my defense, I had thought about it several times already but always stopped myself. Why, you ask? Well to be honest a few reasons, I was about to graduate and finally have an income (a pretty nice one at that), so I was preparing to enjoy true bachelorhood ;). She was a first year that EVERYONE knew already, which was a little too high profile for me (I mean I managed to keep myself out of HUSL drama for three years and didn’t want to trip-up my final semester). Finally, she was a Nigerian woman, and anyone who knows Nigerian women knows that they are not about all that foogazy (look it up) casual stuff! But at the HPILS auction, in the parking lot, being confronted by Lola, I could only be in awe by her directness. She knew what she wanted, and she knew I wanted the same thing. It’s not every day that you meet a woman so confident in asking what she wants, unafraid of how it comes off to others. So I simply replied, “well . . . yes I am.” That was almost four years ago.
Since then, our relationship has grown in ways I could not imagine. People always recognized how great we fit together. In fact, on our first date we kept getting stopped by people saying how good we looked. At the time I was annoyed, silently telling them to chill and stop rushing this early “getting to know each other” phase. But I wasn’t being honest with myself then. There was something here, something I couldn’t explain and couldn’t fight. I have to thank my village for making that clear to me: Papa (subtly telling me that dating Lola would be a “good look” but secretly plotting for us to be together the whole time); Scott (telling me he recognizes my hesitation since I was about to graduate, but saying I should get over it); Maggie (understanding how perfect she was for me and directly telling me to get my “ish” together and make this official); Shola (finally meeting her and saying that there is no one else for me); and so many more that I can mention. They all understood that we just worked, and I’m constantly surprised at how God could have blessed us both with this relationship. It’s so much more than being Nigerian, sharing a name, looking good together as people constantly praise us for. It is God placing someone in our life purposely to grow us as individuals, challenge us to do and be better, and mold us into the person he planned for us to become. People think we are the same person, and yes we do share interests and values. But honestly we have so many differences. Yet in those differences we have seen the true beauty of our relationship. Anything that I lack individually I find in her, and vice versa. I can be a very private, guarded, and self-conscious person. Recognizing that, Lola has taught me to open up more, to live confidently and ignore the negative views of others, to dance like no one is watching, all while appreciating who I was as a person. She’s helped me to be more comfortable with love, to show it unashamedly, to speak its name through words and actions. It’s funny how a good relationship and the love of a good woman can change your life.
So here we are, months away from the wedding and I cannot be more excited. Not because of the “show” aspect of weddings, but because it truly marks the beginning of a life together. I have no idea what the future has in store for us, but I face the future bravely and excited for what it could bring.
To Lola, just know that I am not the same man I was four years ago, and that is because of you. Thank you.
Love,
Ade
So… I’ve been fighting this for years, but as I enter this new chapter before God and man, I’ll be honest and say, I don’t remember the exact first time Ade and I met. I remember the event he claims we met at and meeting a bunch of people, but not actually meeting him. (The satisfaction he'll gain from me admitting this is immeasurable).
I started at Howard Law, fondly known as HUSL in August 2014 and I just remember knowing of him because everyone who knew him or least knew his name, (and I do mean everyone, like professors included), mentioned to me that I shared a name with him. Because of the incessant nature of such reminders, I grew annoyed at some point. In my mind I thought, “It’s really common for Nigerians to share a name, so I wish they would shut up about it already.” At this point, we had interacted on a cursory level once or twice, so we were at least facially familiar. I thought, “He’s nice, and veryyyyy easy on the eyes,” but nothing more. Then one day, I vividly remember walking by him in the hallway near the Dean’s office and feeling like a nervous, butterfly-in-my-stomach type of feeling. I made it a point to say hello and smile, and then began the chapter of me having a crush on a man whom, apart than sharing a name, I knew nothing about.
So I did the normal girl thing—I found him Facebook, which helped me find him on Instagram (if you know, you know, but let’s just say I’m good at finding people LOL). I did some digging and learned where he was from, that he had an older sister, and he was a typical Nigerian kid. Still, I admired from afar. Then during finals season, I saw him in the parking lot with a huge orange cone by his car (which he carried about in his trunk by the way LOL). I mustered the courage to approach him to see if everything was okay. He told me everything was fine (in typical Ade fashion), and that he just had a flat tire. I asked if he’d be okay and if he needed anything and he of course, said thank you, but he’d be okay. Pushy me (LOL), thought about the encounter on my drive home, and wondered if he really would be okay. So, when I got home, I nervously typed a typo-ridden Facebook message to check in and confirm everything worked out. He replied (pretty quickly, might I add), thanking me and then said he was never on Facebook, so here was his number. My head exploded. I text my best friend Iyanu like, “WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?!” Of course, he laughed at me and told me that Ade wanted me to use his number, and that’s why he gave it to me. I was like, “You sure?!” I think he stopped responding, so that meant yes.
From there, the story gets funny because I would find random things to strike up a conversation about. I’m talking searching to see the next time the Wizards played the Bulls, so I could gloat if they pulled through to beat them, even though I watch basketball very casually (read as playoff and All-Star games, if that). At this point, I was sure I was interested, but having been in some ugly situations prior, I pressed out a friend of mine, Papa, who I noticed was also close to Ade, to find out about Ade’s relationship status. Papa reported back that he was free and clear, and so the silly back and forth text banter continued. The conversations were platonic (he called me “Sista Adeoye” when wishing me a Happy New Year) with smidge of flirt at best, so if you know me and my sometimes impatient ways, I concluded, “He’s friend-zoned me so let me gather myself and be going.”
Fast forward to the end of March 2015, when we were at a school-sponsored event, Ade and I were hanging out, and he was outwardly affectionate to me in this space. This led to several people approaching us and saying we made a cute couple. To my surprise, Ade THANKED one of them. So now I was thinking, “Aight so boom, imma ask him wassup, and that’s just gon be that, cuz if he don’t like me, he blockin at this point”. At the end of the night, he walked me to get my belongings and then to my car, and so I hurriedly said, “So, are you ever going to ask me out on a date?” Surprised at my boldness, he chuckled and retorted, “Yes, I am, but you’re a first year, so I wanted you to focus.” I said something along the lines of, “I’m focused so come on with it.” He laughed again, and promised that he’d hit me up to schedule something. The next day, we scheduled to go out on April 4, 2015, and the rest is actually as they say, history.Since then, it's been painstakingly clear that this seemingly coincidental love story, was nothing but God's direct and clear leading. Ade's love became a healing agent in my development as a woman. It’s been the most exhilarating and fulfilling ride of my life since then. I’m honored to be marrying the best man I know, and the absolute love of my life. I can’t wait to spend the rest of our lives together laughing till we cry, and debating about the silliest things with vigor. Love you longer than forever, baby!