"It's not a date!" I exclaimed.
"Bruh. Lunch can be a date," Rohan retorted.
"Since when have you ever asked a girl out?!" Nikhil's voice chimed in from over the phone.
Sunday, October 2nd, 2016
It was a Sunday night, but not any Sunday night - on Monday, I was having lunch with Carol. Our story goes way back to the summer between high school and college.The Birthday Party
We met at a birthday party (thanks, Tiasha!), and it was bittersweet to find out we would be at different colleges in the fall. In the midst of football games, making new friends, and Welcome Week parties, she slipped my mind. Still, she made appearances throughout college, showing up in a Minnie Mouse costume during Halloween, or to have late night Thai food. I found myself waiting for the next text that she would be dropping by for the weekend.Soul Searching
Casual texts turned to more serious conversation when we were both trying to discern what to do after college. I wanted to educate students in Detroit, but I wasn't sure if I was ready to put my dreams of being a doctor on hold. She was in a pre-med program, but her heart was calling her to serve now. We spent hours on the phone, shared articles, and chatted with regular updates about our progress. One day, we grabbed bubble tea after an interview she had, and I was sure I was going to ask her out. But, from the glimmer in her eyes, I knew that something was different that day.She confirmed my selfish fear. After working on her Peace Corps application that summer, she was in the final stages of placement. She was overflowing with excited energy, and I couldn't give her a reason not to leave everything behind. I didn't ask her out that day - I figured that our chapter had come to a close.
The Intervening Years
During my time teaching in Detroit, Carol rarely entered my head. Then, on my way home from school one day, I saw a Facebook post that she was headed home from Peace Corps! During the whole drive, I wondered what would happen if our paths crossed again."Tush, why don't you ask her out?" Over sushi takeout that night, my brother, Rohan, asked the very question that was on my mind. So, I took a chance.
The Reunion
Soon enough, we were across the lunch table from each other, slurping steaming bowls of pho. I wondered, "Is this a date?" I guess I would have to ask her out again, this time to dinner, just to make sure.
It's Summer 2010.
I was at my friend Tiasha's birthday party. The stage was set to have a fun time with friends before we all headed off to college. It would be the least stressed I would be for the rest of my life—let's be honest.
In walks this nerdy kid, wearing beige everything, like he was trying to blend in with the dry wall, seemingly trying to not be noticed. Boy did he succeed. I did not notice him, and the party went great!
Looking back, we both don't have much memory of that night, which seems bittersweet, but what I'm infinitely thankful for are all the moments I do remember that came afterward.
I remember hanging out with Tushar during college, where he was at the University of Michigan and I was at Wayne State University. I would visit my friends at UMich, and no matter what, at each visit, this boy Tushar always happened to pop up and crack his quirky dad jokes. I remember forming our own little faux fraternity — the Alpha Beta Gammas (ABGs) even making our own hand shakes. Surprisingly, for all the visits I made to UMich he only came once to Wayne State...NOT to visit me of course.
I remember when I was nervous about what to do after college, unsure of whether to go directly to medical school or explore other adventures, and lo and behold Tushar was feeling the same way. He called me up and we talked for almost two hours about our struggles, and it felt so nice to have someone to go through this process with.
Two years later, when I returned from Tanzania in 2016, having heard nothing from Tushar, I remember thinking we had just went our separate ways. But he managed to sneak his way back into my life, sending me a Facebook message as soon as I came back, asking to hang out.
I remember our first date (a day still contested to this day!) at Pho lucky, where he made me feel like the most important person in the world. Also, he asked me what I thought about destination weddings...I mean, who does that on a first date!
I remember navigating all the craziness in medical school with him, from stressing out over exams, planning future residencies, and using each other as standardized patients.
But grad school did come with its happy moments, where we got to explore the country together. I remember our trips to northern Michigan, New York, Chicago, Los Angeles, and Houston.
I remember connecting with his faith, and I love that we can challenge each other to be better Christians, those that walk with their faith and not just talk.
I'm so thankful to God for putting Tushar in my life. I'm so excited to walk down the aisle with him, but most of all, I'm excited to remember all our future adventures together!
Tushar told me to plan for a day of fun, and to make sure I wore heels. I didn't know it then, but he had even talked to my senior resident to change my schedule and give me that day off.
I pulled up in front of his building in Detroit - to my surprise he was wearing a suit! He handed me the directions to our first stop and took the wheel. We drove west to a strange area, and eventually pulled into a strip mall in front of a taqueria. "Tacos?" I asked. He just grinned. We got out of the car and turned the corner - into a ballroom dance studio! He had booked a private ballroom dancing lesson (something I had always bugged him about doing). We grabbed tacos afterward and and definitely got some strange looks, eating tacos on paper plates while dressed to the 9s!
I saw a beautiful church across the street and convinced him to go inside. Unfortunately, it was locked, so we turned away. We were halfway down the walk when we heard the door swing open. An elderly Filipino lady ran out after us and urged us inside. She introduced herself as Ida and gave us a full tour of the beautiful stained-glass sanctuary. She told us that next year, she would find ourselves at this altar getting married! We laughed.
Afterward, Tushar took the scenic way back to Detroit, and pulled up at Pewabic Pottery, a place we had always wanted to see. Then, we explored the Heidelberg Project, and even got to meet the artist, Tyree Guyton! We had a quick detour to pick snow cones at Detroit Ice (little did I know know he was just killing time until the proposal was set up), and he said he would take me to a nice spot to eat the ice cream.
We headed down Jefferson Avenue and took the bridge to Belle Isle. He parked the car, took me by the hand and led me toward a familiar spot. Set up at Sunset Point was a picnic - complete with chocolate from Tanzania. He doesn't quite remember how he proposed, and I had a severe case of laryngitis so I barely croaked out a yes through tears. Finally, I noticed our friends Yash and Harsha who had jumped out of the bushes to take photos of us! We hugged, cried some more, and they left us to enjoy our picnic.
Within minutes, Tushar rushed me to go. I was enjoying the sunshine and basking in our private moment, and refused again and again to leave the picnic. Finally, he said, "Gurl, all this cheese....I gotta GO." I didn't need any more convincing, and we packed up the picnic and headed to his place. I skipped up the walk to his place and screamed, "Let's have a rooftop party to celebrate next week! Let's have a rooftop party to celebrate TOMORROW!" (I had always wanted a rooftop party). He didn't break stride and said, "Sure, let's go up the rooftop - we can recreate the picture from our first date!" (I never let him forget that he accidentally deleted that photo) .
The elevator doors opened, and I swear my jaw hit the floor. "SURPRISE!" He had gathered our closest family and friends for an amazing surprise rooftop party. It was the perfect end to a perfect day.