On a cold January night in NYC, a friend convinced me to get out of the house to have some fun. Hours later, I found myself all dressed up and dancing with the perfect stranger. We had instant chemistry; He was smart and handsome, full of energy and excitement but somehow kind and caring at the same time. The following Friday, January 9th, 2015, we went on a fantastic first date, which we now celebrate each year as our “dating” anniversary.
We first met on Saturday, January 3, 2015. That was the night of my frat's (Kappa Alpha Psi Fraternity, Inc.) annual Founders' Day party in NYC. Myself and some of the bruhs decided to pre-game at my apartment and invite a few people to join. Bianca came in with three girls, one of which was dating my boy. I still remember their little crew floating in like "now the party can be begin"...NOT!!! Anyway, I can picture Bianca wearing a little white skirt and black top. I also remember her girls trying to convince me at different points that I should let her help me decorate my apartment, which was pretty much empty. However, I was pre-occupied most of the time, making sure everybody's glasses (really red cups) were filled and heating up food. Hopefully, Tony finally lost that picture of me with my oven mitts on making those whack frozen-food aisle apps. Why again didn't I just order pizza? Fast forward, we finally get to the Founders' Day party. Once there, I kind of remember falling into typical Jamarr party mode -- the vodka-crans and tequila shots were flowing (I'll discuss later in the story how those caught up to me). At some point, I looked down at the couch and Bianca caught my eye. I tried to pull her up to dance, but she wasn't having any part of it. However, after much prodding by her girls, Bianca reluctantly hopped up and danced with me for a while. Now, let's jump to the end of the party. It's late and I'm feeling the drinks, but of course I don't want the party to end. Lucky for me, one of Bianca's girls is like, "You live near him. Why don't we all ride downtown together and grab a nightcap at his place?..." Ummmmm.....AMAZING IDEA!!! I grabbed one of my boys, and we rolled! Once at my place, I made everybody drinks and proceeded to REALLY shoot my shot. Unfortunately for me, I quickly realized what a Mutombo block and Barry Sanders stiff-arm felt like all at once. Inevitably, those vodka-crans and tequila shots from earlier in the night finally got me. YIKES!!! Nite, nite! When I finally woke up again and sobered up, the alarms went off and I realized I never got her number. No sweat! I quickly hopped into the Nupe group chat, and asked who invited that group of girls. Within 10 minutes, one of my boys got the number from her friend and it was on! It went something like. 'Hey, sorry I was a bit out of it when you left. We should go out sometime...'
He planned most of it and it was perfect. The reservation was scheduled for 8pm, so I suggested that we briefly stop by an oyster bar in West Village before dinner. Instead, we ended up talking, laughing and staying at the oyster bar for hours before we finally made it to the restaurant for an incredible dinner. I just remember smiling from ear to ear the entire night and trying to contain it. My last first date was absolutely my best first date. Still smiling from ear to ear, all of these years later :)
Our first date ended up being about a week after we met. I was in Miami for most of that week, but Bianca and I had been texting back and forth and decided we would meet up on Friday. I'm not the type of dude who really plans dates, but I told her I would take care of it. The Lion was a pretty popular restaurant at the time, so I decided to make a reservation there for around 8pm (the time becomes important later in the story). Afterwards, I figured we would go around the corner to Groove because they always have great live music on Friday nights. Boom! I do this! I was a little unsure of how the date was going to go, because I remembered Bianca being a bit reserved the night of the party. I figured I would have to carry the conversation for most of the night, but all good. Earlier in the day, she asked where we were going. When I told her the Village, she suggested we meet around 7 at Virgola, which was a little wine and oyster bar that wasn't too far from The Lion. I got there a little before she did, and grabbed a couple of seats. When she walked in, she looked as great as I remembered, but was all dressed up in like a business suit or something. I was like we could've pushed things back so you didn't have to come straight from work. But, then she said she worked from home that day. In my head, I was like ummmm I hope she doesn't try to get me to go to church after dinner. Anyway, moving right along. Our time at Virgola was great -- we drank, ate oysters, and the conversation flowed. It was like we had known each other forever. Next thing I knew, it was 8 o'clock, and we had just ordered another round and more oysters. So, I called The Lion to push our reservation back to 8:30. Then, I called thirty minutes later, and pushed it back to 9. Then, I called again at 9, and pushed it back to 9:30. Luckily, the people at The Lion were really cool, and didn't throw us any shade when we finally showed up at 10. At dinner, we picked up right where we left off -- more drinks and great conversation. Next thing we knew, it was 12:30, we were the last people in the restaurant, and the waiter was clearly ready to go. We finally got up and left, entering the freezing January night. It wasn't easy, but I somehow convinced her to walk several blocks to the Groove (jazz club). We stayed there for a couple of hours, drinking, listening to music, and trying to delay going back out into the cold. On the way back downtown, I convinced Bianca to come to my place. Don't worry, there's nothing to report. We ended up passing out on opposite ends of my couch.
He was acting a bit different that day, but I was unsure of the reason. When we met for dinner that night, I did find myself checking his pockets for a ring box bulge? Maybe? But, there was nothing there. It wasn’t until moments before he got down on one knee that I realized he was asking me to be his wife. We were having dinner at the same restaurant as our first date, but the venue name and decor has since changed since 2015. At the very moment he got down on one knee, the entire restaurant erupted with cheers and applause. I was so filled with emotion, excitement, confusion and shock, that somehow I forgot to actually say the word yes (I said it later). To commemorate the moment, the restaurant presented us with a glass of champagne. However, Jamarr was rushing me to finish because he had one more thing left on the agenda for the night. I was thinking “what could possibly be as important as drinking a glass of my favorite champagne to celebrate the best night of my life?”; I didn’t question him and followed him to one of our favorite local spots, Hotel Hugo in Soho. I walked into the venue and started seeing so many familiar faces, but it took me quite a moment to realize that I was having a surprise engagement party. All of my favorite people were yelling “surprise!” “congratulations!” and running up to me, hugging me, taking pictures - but it still took me a moment to come to terms with the fact that all of the people that I love and speak to regularly had been knowing this night was coming and they had all planned to be here to celebrate with me. I’ve never felt so happy in my life.
I proposed on May 31, 2019. I'm not the most creative guy in the world, so after getting suggestions from a few friends I just decided to try to recreate our first date (little did I realize this would eventually tip her off...stay tuned). The problem was that restaurants don't tend to last in New York, so after 4 years of dating, The Lion was closed. However, I figured let me take a quick stroll by and see what was there now....Casa Apicii. Hey, same building and who doesn't like Italian...Booked! I forgot to mention this is probably around mid-April when I'm starting to plan, so I'm totaling gambling on the ring being ready in time and her parents actually giving me the green light. The next question mark that popped into my head was what would Bianca want to do after she hopefully says yes. Hmmmmm...Celebrate with her friends! (I accepted that I would immediately turn into chopped liver at that point). So, I decided to invite all of her friends in the City (NYC), a few of mine who live nearby, and my family to a "Summer Kickoff Party" at Hotel Hugo Rooftop (thanks again for the hookup, Max!). I would say 80% of everyone there guessed what the party was really for (not naming the other 20%). Anyway, back to the date. So, our first date actually started at Virgola, a little wine/oyster spot in the Village, that I completely took for granted would still be there. Thankfully, something told me to check 2 days before the day. Of course, CLOSED! After scrambling a bit and using those stupid reservation apps that never work when you need them to, I was able to switch the plan to Jeffrey's Grocery. Now, let's fast forward to Proposal Day. Everything is all mapped out. Bianca knows we're going somewhere at 5:30. I'm feeling good...I got this! Then, my mother calls and asks if I can take my sister to Long Island (boyyyyyyyy do I love the two of them). If you've ever driven in Long Island traffic on a summer Friday, you know why this could've been problematic. But, I didn't panic. My sister came into the City, and we got out there and back in 4 hours, only delaying the plan by about 30 minutes. I rushed home to change and grab Bianca, we hit Jeffrey's for some wine and oysters for a while, and then made it over to Casa Apicii for dinner. Luckily, she didn't recognize the inside. I'll admit it took me a few drinks and several encouraging texts to finally get up the nerve to ask. Finally, I went into my little spiel that I had practiced, then I pushed the table to the side, got down on one knee and asked Bianca to marry me. Of course, she said nothing for quite some time (embarrassing!) So, I had to ask, 'Is that like a yes?....' The positive head nod was good enough. Next thing you know, the whole restaurant erupts, cheering, clapping, yelling...It was great! Now, Bianca wanted to hangout and sip her drink. Oh hellllll no...I told her we didn't have time for that. Remember, the plans were set back, so now everybody had been waiting at Hotel Hugo for a while to surprise her. When we finally arrived, she was so confused as to why so many familiar faces were there (thank you, everybody, for keeping it a secret!). We drank and partied all night. Bianca would tell me the next day she was 80% sure it was happening that day, because the only other date I had ever planned was the first one :( At least the after-party was a surprise.
New York will always be special to me for a number of reasons. Both of my parents and their families are from Brooklyn, so I've spent my whole life in and around New York. I have created so many memories in the City since college -- working, studying, partying, etc. And, now New York has become even more special, because it's where I met the love of my life, where we got engaged, where we live, where a lot of our friends and family are, where we're getting married, and where we will continue to make so many lasting memories. New York will always hold a special place in my heart because it is where our relationship began. - Jamarr
New York has given me so many things for which I am grateful. New York has given me great friends, a flourishing career and the food here isn’t too bad either :-). Most of all, New York has given me the love of my life, my forever, and for that I am eternally grateful. We’ve chosen to get married in the city where we live, where we met and fell in love! We are excited to continue our journey here and to create new memories with all of you! - Bianca
