Welcome to the Liddell-Rodriguez Wedding / #TheCityAndTheSip

Journal

Every bride says that her wedding day was a blur. Ours was no different. Time moved so quickly! One moment we were waking up and the next we were standing in front of the altar.

Every bride has told me that some thing went wrong on the day of her wedding. Ours was no exception! But as we look back on our wedding day, we are both happy to report very few regrets. For us the day of our wedding was a celebration filled with an over abundance of blessings.

Here's to us!

While we await the official wedding photos and videos, you may browse those shared by our wonderful family and friends.

After concluding the Wedding Rehearsal, we prepared to head off to Chow on Church for the Rehearsal Dinner. Hiram, Vaughan and I tried to travel ahead of everyone else to get the tables setup for the party. However, some guests started trickling in before we finished, but like good family does, they chipped in and helped us finish setting up the tables.

Once everyone was seated and had sparkling wine or cider on hand, Hiram and I raised our glasses to toast our guests. Afterwards, we passed out gifts to the ladies and gentlemen in the wedding party. We included a special gift to folks who had gone above and beyond in their contributions to the wedding plans (Sally, Christie, Vaughan and Sharelle). Then we passed out our Order of Events cards that outline the timeline for the big day.

Finally, after we had all enjoyed our meals and drink, everyone left to prepare for the Sunday morning wedding.

Time to try to sleep!

Okay ladies, let's get in formation!

Vaughan, Christie and Mama teamed up to throw my Bridal Shower. Vaughan sent me a note to head over to The Clift Hotel in Union Square. Vaughan greeted me in the lobby where I met up with some of the other guests before we all headed up to the elevator to the suite. When she opened the door, I was greeted by a room built around one of my favorite performers and singers, Beyoncé. The event was based around the singer's Lemonade album. They really outdid themselves! The spread was all southern soul food — fried chicken and waffles, shrimp and cheese grits, pink lemonade cupcakes, iced tea, and lemonade. It was all so beautiful! I'm going to remember this forever.

Back in May, I began thinking of a whether or not to do a boudoir photo shoot. As a plus size woman, I've always fought to feel sexy and beautiful. In a world where my body type isn't the "beauty ideal," I have always felt self-conscious. But I am glad that I decided to move forward with it. Sexy comes in my size!

I made sure to lockdown a good location, a female photographer with experience in these types of photos and began collecting lingerie. I came prepared with three different looks — "the bride," "the goddess" and "the vixen." I kept a secret Pinterest board of inspiration for the shoot and shared it with my photographer. If she can capture artsy, sexy pics like these, I’ll be thrilled!

The wedding week begins!

I took this week off to make sure that I could handle any last minute glitches and make time for some relaxation before the wedding weekend.

Today Hiram and I had our final planning meeting with the Day of Coordinator. The purpose of the final planning meeting is to have a final walkthrough of the venue, timelines, catered food, make any notes and drop off all the items at the venue. Before heading to the venue, we made an itemized list of all the boxes, items and accessories we would be dropping off at the venue (guestbook, signs for tables, etc.) then we met up with Jessica downtown at our venue.

After we unloaded our things, we went through all our details and did a tour of the ballrooms where the ceremony and reception would take place. Neither of us had seen the ballrooms in months so it was reassuring and a nice reminder of why we picked the venue in the first place.

Every vendor has told me that I am the most organized bride they’ve seen. Detailed timelines, spreadsheets, scheduled reminders, floor plans, backup plans, etc. Can I put these management and coordination skills on my resume? Maybe I missed my true calling!

Even with me being the first one to create and use #OurLove2018 for our wedding several months ago, some folks have decided to use it. What's the point of having a hashtag specifically for your wedding if other folks are going to start using it for theirs?

So I sat down with my groom to think about options for a new hashtag that reflects both of us — #TheCityAndTheSip !

But what does it mean? "The City" is what Bay Area locals call San Francisco. "The 'Sip" is a nickname for Mississippi.

I went a bit hashtag crazy and came up with some fun hashtags for both of us to use separately — #SuckaFreeCityGroom for Hiram and #CityWithSoulBride for myself!

Looking forward to seeing posts from guests at the wedding!

Three weeks til the wedding and everything is almost complete. I’ve diligently researched everything, planned and checked off to-do’s since last year. It is gratifying to see our vision taking shape as those wistful wedding board dreams come to life.

We picked up my wedding band today. It looks perfect. While we were out getting a bite, the song we picked for our recessional was playing softly.

I hope that’s a good omen! I wonder how many other people have had moments like this before?

With 38 days left to go, Hiram and I are busy putting the final polish on the event.

The final details with vendors have been confirmed including some last minute details that we think our guests will love! We had our last meeting with my Uncle Webster to discuss the ceremony. The next time we meet to discuss the ceremony will be at the wedding rehearsal. In the meantime, Hiram and I have an appointment to pick up the marriage license next week.

I've been flexing my design skills on day-of decorations and printed materials. All the extras for the rehearsal dinner, the ceremony and the reception have been ordered. Gift bags await the arrival of the big day when they will be handed off to my wedding party.

This afternoon I picked up my wedding dress from the seamstress. I'll be meeting with Vaughan later this month to assemble some DIY projects and getting together with Sharelle to do my final hair trial.

I'll be sending out RSVP confirmation cards this week so guests will be reminded of the event and their expected number of plus ones. By far the most stressful thing has been dealing with RSVPs. While we wish we could allow everyone to come, bring plus ones and kids, we just do not have the budget for it and even if we did, the venue doesn't have the space to accommodate any additions. It makes planning needlessly stressful. It is not fun having to tell people who want to celebrate with you that they aren't invited or that they can't bring their children. I want everyone to have a good time, but we also wish that guests would be understanding of our limited budget and venue space.

We will happily share photos and video with family that we couldn’t invite or were unable to attend.

Time for the second make up trial!

This time around I wasn’t able to book both stylists at once. However, it was still a helpful session. I had time to think about the last session and how things went. This time around I felt like it was even more on point and made sure to have my eyebrows shaped beforehand.

I had time to discuss the wedding day of timeline with her and get solid on the schedule. My mom called during the session which was perfect timing! We were able to get her scheduled for make up that day, too.

I’m in good hands!

I asked my Uncle Webster to officiate our wedding ceremony a while back. We felt that he would be the best choice. I entertained the thought of hiring an officiant, but really. Who better than my sweet, southern uncle with his big warm smile, sparkling eyes and kind heart to join us in marriage? Besides being my family and a reverend in his church for many years, Hiram was already warmly acquainted with him.

Today, we left work a bit early so that we could head down to my Aunt Katherine and Uncle Webster’s place in East Palo Alto. We sat with him as he counseled us on the seriousness of marriage and discussed details of the ceremony with him as well.

We will meet with him again in a couple weeks for another counseling session and get more finality around the wedding ceremony readings and plans.

Some interesting facts I found about the history of engagement rings and wedding rings:

• The First Engagement Rings Originated in Ancient Egypt. In ancient Egypt, an unbroken circle was seen as a symbol of eternity. The ancient Egyptians also believed that the fourth finger of the left hand held a vein that led directly to the heart. We still place rings on our "ring fingers" today. So when lovers exchanged rings, it symbolized an eternal connection to each other's hearts.

• The Earliest Engagement Rings Were Made of Grass and Reeds. As exchanging rings became more common, people chose to make them out of more lasting materials like bone, wood and metal.

• Ancient Romans Wore Two Rings. Romans wore iron bands while they went about daily errands, labor and chores. They switched to gold bands when they went about in public.

Protecting your rings from damage is a modern problem, too. I accidentally knocked out one of the smaller stones from my engagement band during the first two months of having the ring and had to have it replaced. Since then, I've been more careful with it. I make sure to remove my ring while cooking, cleaning, etc. I've seen the increase in silicone rings among couples. The silicone ring is worn while performing labor, working out or doing some other activity. I've even seen couples like Jay Z and Beyonce get tattoos on their ring fingers instead.

• Engagement Rings Were Not Used to Pay for a Bride. A "bride price" was the compensation a potential groom had to pay in exchange for marriage to another man's daughter.

GROSS. Anyway...

Ancient Romans used rings as a way to publicly announce their agreement in business ventures, politics, as well as marital arrangements. Engagement rings were a public symbol of the pending marriage agreement, however the rings themselves were not payment.

• Until the 19th Century, the Average Middle-Class American Couple Exchanged Very Simple Rings Made from Unadorned Metals. If he had some skill in metalwork, the groom would fashion the ring himself out of iron, copper or other easily accessible metal. Often times the engagement ring doubled as the wedding ring or was a family heirloom passed down from mother to son or daughter. Some times, the promise of marriage was enough, and the ring was presented at the ceremony. In some communities, a thimble was exchanged instead of a ring.

• Upper Classes (of course), Could Always Afford Engagement Rings and Marriage Bands. Their rings often featured finer metals (gold, silver, platinum), precious gems, engravings, etc.

• It Was More Common to See Engagement Rings Set with a Ruby, Sapphire or Emerald. Diamond rings weren't a thing until De Beers popularized the concept of diamond engagement rings. There has been a noted resurgence of colored gems among millennials.

• It Was Customary for Men to Also Wear Engagement Rings. A man seeking marriage would put a ring on the index finger of his left hand. Once he was engaged, he'd shift the ring to his middle finger. When he became married, he would move it to his ring finger. If he didn't have any interest in marriage, he would keep a ring on the pinky finger of his left hand.

With the move out of the way, I’m getting back into wedding planning mode. After the first hair trial, the focus is on my day-of jewelry and other accessories.

I selected beautiful gold and crystal accented jewelry, a delicate lace garter belt set, an amazingly detailed pair of shoes and gold hair accessory with pearl detail.

I’m still reviewing options for a bustier. Depending on how things go, I may find one that is simply functional or one that is heirloom quality and worthy of some exciting getting ready photos.

Just finished my first hair and makeup trial for the wedding! I am so happy with the results and can’t stop looking at myself in the mirror. I look so different!

After make up was complete, Sharelle got to work on my hair. She then helped me try on my two options for a veil, hair accessory and dress to compare how they would look. We chatted back and forth about how different options for hair accessories and jewelry may compliment may overall look. I feel like I am ready to get those last day-of-details ordered now!

Of course, my lovely matron of honor, Vaughan was on hand for moral support and to help with questions for the other ladies who may or may not be interested in getting their looks done by the make-up stylist. I’m lucky that we have our wedding style in good hands!

Face by Meko White Mua / Hair by Sharelle Brazzel Boswell Loudd 

Today was the first event for the bridesmaids!

It was great to have most of the ladies present for the fitting so that we could get the effect of what the dresses will look like together... and of course make introductions and get to know each other more! My future sister-in-law, Sally brought along my flower girl and junior bridesmaids (Nayeli, Gabrielle and Ariana). Vaughan, my lovely Matron of Honor drove in from Walnut Creek. They tried on dresses and we made a few tweaks to some of the plans, but overall the fittings went on without a hitch. Then it was off to a late lunch at Celia's where I gave out gift bags to thank them for joining my bridal party. I'm glad they were a hit with everyone!

I'll be sending out gift boxes to out-of-town bridesmaids and will work with the local bridesmaid and flower girl who weren't able to meet this session. As the clerk at the bridal boutique said, the right time to begin ordering dresses is this month.

Time is of the essence!

Today, Hiram and I went to The Cakemaker for a cake tasting. The shop owner, Bala, has been working in San Francisco as a wedding cake baker for 30 years and has done a lot of work with our venue in that time.

He sat us down in the front of his shop. We tried four different fillings and four flavors, mixing and matching combinations before we found one we really loved and we hope guests will love it, too.

With the wedding cake vendor hired, we now have all our major vendors booked for the wedding!

Since we've been engaged, I've been noticing wedding/engagement themed media more and more. I ran across this charming Youtube video a few weeks back, "Here's the Plan" by Fernanda Frick. Description from Youtube...

"A married cat-dog couple of cupcake bakers dream of opening their own bakery. One day their oven breaks and they have to postpone their dream in order to earn money and replace it. Somewhere down the line, they drift apart from their dream and from themselves."

I promise you... it has a happy ending!

Watch the video here

Hiram and I believe that music is not just for the dance floor. We want music to highlight and set the tone for moments throughout the day. Our wedding is going to take place in the morning and afternoon so the tone won't be the same as it would be for an evening event. We're going for more of a chill, lounge vibe with some R&B, light jazz, latin jazz, light pop and down tempo salsa. We've already got some ideas for how to feature music in our event, some specific music selections, etc. We also would need the DJ to be a skilled MC to direct and focus guests at the event.

We talked to a few different companies and found Goodtime DJ to be the right fit for our event. We were impressed by the owner's professionalism, flexibility and massive library of songs to play on our special day.

The Muses from Disney's Hercules, providing bridesmaids dress inspiration! Just like each of the muses, my bridesmaids are unique, beautiful with different sizes and shapes.

The bridesmaid dress I chose for the girls is an elegant, ivory, a-line dress and available in size 0 to 30. Since it's convertible, they have over 10 different ways to wear it and may drape it to flatter their unique shapes. Their hair style is up to them — Afro, flat press, locs, braids, a fade, etc. — I only ask that they don't do any wild colors like green or fire engine red. I have something else planned for my little sister who is my Maid of Honor. More on that later!

I am so excited to have booked my hair and make-up for the wedding! My cousin's wife Sharelle of Beautique Salon will be doing my hair as a gift to me for the wedding day. I talked to a friend of mine at work about my wedding and she referred me to an amazing make-up artist, Meko White.

I have a bunch of ideas from my Pinterest boards that I'll be running past them in my make-up and hair trials. I'm thinking big, natural hair adorned with flowers. For make-up, I don't want to go full glam — I like an elegant, soft look.

Make-up Ideas / Hair & Veil Ideas

Hiram and I took our official engagement photos this morning! Today, we forgot our stress over planning, house hunting, etc and just had fun. With poses where we were all snuggled up, how could we not get into the moment?

We got moving early so as to get the best lighting and to avoid the crowds that our locations would draw. First stop was Cupid's Span, where our proposal took place, then we were off to Palace of Fine Arts and finished our day at Baker's Beach.

Our photographer, Robert was professional and chill. He really helped us get into things and we immediately felt comfortable with him. In preparation for the engagement shots, Robert called to give us some ideas of shots, to assure that we had permits to shoot in our locations, etc. Afterwards, he gave us both some valuable tips for incorporating his services on the wedding day.

Hiram and I look forward to sharing our engagement photos once they're ready in 4 to 6 weeks!

It's really important to us to have an event that is a reflection of our personalities and cultural backgrounds. Since I'm from Mississippi and Hiram's from California, we thought it'd be fun to have our respective state flowers — white magnolias and orange poppies.

We received a bunch of proposals and quotes over a week or so and choose Bewilder Floral. The florist provided floral color options that perfectly complemented the look and feel of our venue and the wedding party's attire. She was able to balance her expertise with our original vision, even surprising us by inadvertently touching on Hiram's Puerto Rican roots by including some tropical floral inspirations.

Knocking them down left and right! I mustered up some reserved energy and got into contact with a cake baker. We met our vendor previously at the wedding expo at MMC. We loved his beautiful portfolio of cakes and that he was one of our venue's preferred vendors. I am so happy that we locked in an appointment for wedding cake tasting and consultation when we did. He told us that a lot of his clients have been booking him for the day prior, August 18, 2018 or 8.18.18. Apparently, that number is lucky among other cultural traditions. Initially, we wanted two cakes made but Hiram is fine with foregoing the tradition of a groom's cake. Looking forward to trying out flavors and fillings in January.

I really want to take a little break from planning. For a wedding that is about a year away, we've made incredible progress. We still need to book a florist, a cake baker, a chair rental company, make-up/hair stylist and locate a menswear shop.

Holiday season is fast approaching. If we can complete this process before Thanksgiving, I'll be able to take a long breather and just do lightweight tasks like finalizing our stationary, sending out our save-the-dates and filling out our registry. To be honest, our wallets can take a break, too.

I got an email from David's Bridal that my dress was in the store. I went down to Colma for the second time. This time, it worked! It has enough wiggle room to allow for me to drop a few inches before next year. I went ahead and scheduled a fitting. I'm also happy that it was half-off the original price! Only had to pay $500 for it. Haha!

It's a truly lovely dress, and just right for me— white, a-line, off shoulder, tulle with soft beading and three dimensional flowers. You'll have to wait until the wedding photos to see it...

After finishing up the conversation with the photography/videography agency, I got ready for my appointment at David's Bridal. I am a multitasking QUEEN!

My future sister-in-law joined me on my hunt to try on some wedding dresses. I had a few already in mind from my Pinterest pins so I already knew what I really wanted. Unfortunately, most of the dresses I wanted to try on were not available at that location or were available but just not in my size. So I placed an order for my first choice in hopes that it would be a good fit.

Fingers crossed! 

After we found the wedding venue, we browsed a bunch of photography portfolios and wedding video reels. Neither of us wanted to look back on our wedding photos and video with regrets.

There are some agencies that were really expensive and required an additional fee to transfer the photo rights to us. Both myself and my fiancé are creative professionals and understand the need to protect image rights but really? Requiring a whole other tier just to have the right to do what we want with pics of ourselves on our wedding day? That seemed nuts to me.

Today, we felt like we struck the right balance of talent, quality of service and budget with George Street Photo & Video. The representative walked us through their process and we agreed on a package that fit our needs. Next step is to get our engagement photo session scheduled.

We hunted for a wedding and reception venue for what seemed like forever before finding one. I realized weddings weren't going to be inexpensive but I don't think either of us were prepared for some of the outrageous quotes we saw for a wedding and reception venues in San Francisco.

Originally, I had really wanted to have the wedding in one of the beautiful public city parks and then have the reception elsewhere. Renting space at one of SF's many park spaces is incredibly cheap but finding reasonably priced reception venues nearby was a nightmare. Some reception locations were $12K for just the site. The most expensive quote we received was $50K!

After a while, I ran across the Marines' Memorial Club & Hotel. It's a beautiful, historic building close to Union Square. After chatting with the wedding specialist on the phone, we arranged for a meeting and showing of the venue. We both loved the ballrooms with their blush walls trimmed in gold, high ceilings and crystal chandeliers. We loved that MMC offered wedding packages that included lots of extras. By signing with them, we would not only have our ceremony and reception site, but also have booked our catering, bar service, day of coordinator, etc. etc. The wedding specialist invited us to attend the wedding expo to be held later that month so that we could talk to vendors, sample the food and experience the service, and see the ballrooms staged for a wedding day.

We enjoyed ourselves at the expo and left knowing that this was it. We had found our venue and had a wedding date.

Launching into planning mode! Even though the wedding is a year away, things have a way of creeping up on you if you aren't diligent. So it's important to plan out the steps of the process, keep a budget, stay organized, and make progress every month leading up to our big day.

The first step was to get a wedding planning guide. We chose to use The Knot and The Knot Ultimate Wedding Planning & Organizer. I really like their online tools for budgeting, wedding planning checklist, database of vendors and articles. It's so satisfying to check the boxes as we complete each step! I also really like the book because it's portable and I can use it to keep track of wedding inspirations, contracts, receipts, etc.

I am using Pinterest to curate styles for different elements of the wedding. I have separate boards for wedding decor, party themes, hair, wedding party looks, etc. For the moment, I am keeping most of our plans under wraps until the wedding day.

I feel less intimidated about all the things that we have to do... now to hunt for a venue!

Today, Hiram proposed to me beneath Cupid's Span in San Francisco. It was a hot day in June and the sun made the center stone blind me as I turned to accept the ring. I remember feeling dazed afterwards... after five years, we were taking a huge step! We began celebrating with appetizers and champagne at Perry's Embarcadero. Hiram announced that we should eat light as he'd reserved a table for two at Bar Agricole for that evening. It was a wonderful day!

A couple weeks later, we booked a trip to New Orleans to celebrate our engagement together. We rode the trolley, walked through the French Quarter, explored shops and toured the area in a horse drawn carriage. We are looking forward to making many more memories!