Vaishnavi & Melwyn

Mangalorean Catholics are an ethno-religious community of Catholics following the Latin Rite from the Mangalore Diocese on the southwestern coast of Karnataka, India. The Roce (anointing) ceremony, conducted one or two days before a wedding, celebrates the last day of virginity of the bride and bridegroom and involves the parents' blessing of the bride and groom, who are anointed with roce, a mixture of coconut milk and coconut oil, while a cross is inscribed on their foreheads.

A traditional Catholic mass (prayer ceremony) inside a church where the bride and groom are married as per the Roman Catholic practices. The dress code is formal and traditionally the bride wears a white dress, so ladies should ideally avoid wearing something completely white.

Mehndi, otherwise known as henna, is a paste associated with positive spirits and good luck. Indian Wedding tradition calls for a Mehndi ceremony to be held a day or two before the wedding as a way of wishing the bride good health and prosperity as she makes her journey on to marriage. The darkness of the Mehndi colour on the bride’s hand represents the deep love between the couple.

This is the beginning of the wedding where the man or the woman are dressed as the groom or bride. The entire family takes part in this pre-wedding ritual, where a pandiri (a stage) is set up using the arati chettu (banana tree branches) at the houses of the groom and the bride. The bride and the groom are bathed in holy water that is mixed with tulasi leaves, turmeric etc.

Snathakam is also a pre-wedding ritual that is conducted by a purohit to purify the groom from all the sins and bless him with a healthy body and mind as he begins a new chapter of his life. Kashi Yatra involves only the bridegroom and is a unique ceremony where the groom slips into a pair of slippers and carries an umbrella and dresses minimally and pretends to set on a journey to Kashi to renounce worldly pleasures. The bride’s brother pleads and convinces the groom to marry his sister. When the groom agrees to marry, he is welcomed by the bride’s parents with a spectacular gaiety. This is a fun ceremony to watch the groom and brides' brother negotiate. 

The word “Sangeet “ means music, but when it is used as a term to describe a celebratory event during an Indian wedding it translates to Music Night or Musical party. This musical night is a celebration of the union of not only the couple but the bonding of both families. It is here that both sides bring down their barriers and mingle in a fun environment. It’s usually held a day before the wedding.

The wedding ceremony starts with the bride praying to Goddess Parvati and the groom praying to Lord Ganesha in separate locations, for their to be spouse's long life and good health. On the completion of the  Gauri puja, the bride's maternal uncles lift her in a basket made with bamboo, and take her to the madap, where the groom is already present for "Kanyadanam". Kanyadam is "The Gift of Daughter", and it is believed that a gift should be placed in a vessel before it's given away. Hence, the bride's arrival at the mandap is in a basket. 

Kanyadanam (Giving the bride away) is a ritual where the bride is given away by her parents to the groom. In a Brahmin wedding, the maternal uncles of the bride carry her to the mandap in a bamboo basket, which is yet another endearing act. The bride and the groom do not see each other till they are married. In the kanyadanam, the bride’s parents wash the feet of the groom, as the groom is considered as Lord Vishnu in the wedding.

In a Telugu wedding, Jeelakarra Bellam signifies the union/marriage of the bride and the groom. Jeelakarra (cumin) and bellam (jaggery) are made into a thick paste and put on a tamalapaku (betel leaf). It is said that the paste of cumin and jaggery is inseparable and that is how the life of the bride and groom should be. The bride and the groom put it on each other's head while the priest's chant mantras from the Vedas. This is performed at a specific time set by the priest and signifies that the bride and the groom are married.

Madhuparakam is the ceremony where the bride changes into a white saree with a red border and the groom wears a white dhoti for the next rituals of the wedding. The red colour signifies strength while the white colour represents purity.

The mangala sutram is a sacred necklace that is touched by all the married women at the wedding as a blessing to the bride, and the groom performs a prayer to the Gods before tying the mangalasutram around the bride’s neck. The groom ties three knots of the mangalasutram to represent the mental, physical and spiritual union of their togetherness for 100 years. The couple is blessed by all the guests with akshinthalu (rice mixed with turmeric).

As we move on to the fun and more joyous part of the wedding, we must tell you that the talambralu ritual is always like a competition between the bride and the groom. The purohit chants mantras and the bride and the groom shower each other’s heads with talambralu (pearls, thermocol balls, or rice coloured by turmeric paste).

In a pot full of milk and rose petals, a gold ring is dropped and is brought to the mandap. The bride and the groom put their arms into it to see who picks the ring first. It is a very exciting game for the ones watching the bride and the groom struggle and fight for the ring in a humourous way. The first one to pick the ring puts it on the other’s finger. This is a game in which the bride or the groom have immense fun, lose sometimes for the sake of the offer person and indulge in just some light hearted fun.

Towards the end of the ceremony, the groom’s dhoti is tied in a knot to one end of the bride’s saree, and they walk together around the homam (fire) seven times taking the vows. The couple takes promises of togetherness with every round around the homam.

After the homam is performed, the couple is taken out by the purohit and the family to spot the Arundhati nakshatram (star). The groom points out the arundhati nakshatram to his bride, as Arundhati (wife of sage Vashistha) and Vashistha are an ideal couple.

An immensely tear-jerking and emotional moment for the bride and her family as the bride’s family gives her away to the groom and his family. As she leaves the mandap with the groom to begin a new life with him, and the bride and her family get very emotional throughout this.

With these rituals, the wedding comes to an end. But it is only a fresh beginning for the bride and the groom.