I decided I was ready to get back out there and start going on dates.. not just scheduling and ghosting, but actually going. We had been chatting a couple of weeks before he asked me out and when he finally did, he didn't confirm the date UNTIL THE DAY OF!
Normally, I would have just cancelled on principle alone but my friend told me she didn't think I was going to actually go on the date, so I went to spite her! Everyone at my office knew, if I didn't get confirmation by 9am I was NOT GOING!.. 10am.. 11am.. Ok, If I don't get confirmation by 12pm, I am NOT GOING! I think I got a text at 1:01pm "Is today still looking ok for you?" There was banter back and forth, but we eventually got there. I'll never forget him walking into the restaurant with his plaid "Dad/Exxon" shirt, freshly starched jeans, cowboy boots and Pringles man mustache I couldn't quite seem to move past.
I instantly loved how much he made me laugh. We talked for four hours straight over some margaritas and beers, hardly stopping to breathe and definitely forgetting to order food before noticing the room had cleared out and the tables were being cleaned. We were both unapologetically open and honest about who we are, where we had been and what we wanted in the future and simultaneously sharing candid parenting fails and love for our daughters. I remember thinking he was way too nice for me and it all seemed way too easy.
That was December 18th 2019 and thanks to quarantine, we've pretty much been inseparable ever since. He immediately loved me for all my wonderful qualities (there are too many to list) and even for the things others didn't (that list is much longer). He allows me to be my true authentic self, even when I’m unreasonable, even when I’m wrong and has never tried to change me. He fills the holes I didn’t know were empty and together I see a life I never knew possible.
Sophia (being the detective she wants to be) discovered Jeff in my phone one day while we were texting and I knew the day to meet was nearing. We embraced our shared feelings for one another and decided not to waste anytime bringing the girls in for the ride. Jeff created a safe space for Sophia from day one and she and him developed their own secret code language. The girls met over bowling and games, bonded over dance and slime and became fast friends and future sisters.
As we drove home after that first visit, we chatted about how she felt about both Jeff and Parker and what exciting things we could plan in the future. I was so happy she was happy and then she paused for a bit and said “mom, you seem so... free”, such a profound statement and interesting choice of words and that’s when I knew, they were for us. My child could recognize and communicate clearly what she didn't see there in the past and what she saw in me with Jeff, and approved.
Sophia and I are so incredibly blessed to have Jeff and Parker in our lives. He is unbelievably tolerant and the patience to my brash, reason to my excitement and steady in my chaos. Parker is the built in best friend and little sister Sophia's always wanted. Their connection takes away all the guilt I have felt for not being able to give her the gift of a sibling relationship. They play hard, fight hard and defend one another hard. In quarantine, We all got to see who we truly are and Jeff got a front row seat to my stress eating and anxiety. But through it all have said one thing, what a blessing it was for all of us to spend so much quality time together, time we may never have again and at the perfect time. We all continue to love, grow as a family, balance and bring out sides of one another, we never knew were there.
Many of you have likely seen one or both of us go through dark times, days where it was tough to get out of bed. Now, we are both excited to start each day together and can't wait to build our lives hand in hand because God had a bigger plan.
If you're reading this, you are invited to come celebrate our love with us in Costa Rica AND the fact that someone finally decided they can put up with me!
We all grew up learning there are two sides to a coin. What we don’t consider, is the third side – the side. This is where you go when you want the truth after hearing both sides to a story and I’ll save you time and give that to you!
So...what had happened was...
After moving to Houston and leaving behind all my friends and family, I decided to go ahead and start trying to meet people and hopefully find someone worth dating on an app. Early on, Daniela and I would match up, connect and have easy conversations and then next thing you know, POOF – she’s gone like Casper. This happened a second time and if you can see how this is going, a third time which led us here. I guess...third time is the charm.
So before I get too far ahead, let’s get to that third side of the coin...
Once upon a time, or something like that, we were planning to meet up. Knowing the history of Casper, I was fully prepared for her to vanish into the night. I really didn’t put forth a lot of effort on when, where, etc. You’ll even hear the story about how I didn’t confirm until the day of, before noon (that’s for a few FW folks). Little did I know she was really ready to meet and once she has made up her mind on something, she sticks to it. That was a quality of hers that I would soon learn to respect and if I’d known, I wouldn’t have almost missed my bonus ball shot.
I remember walking into the restaurant still wondering what it would be like, if we’d click, if I’d make the plans I’d created as a backup if it failed. After my second step in, I see her sitting at the bar and I was immediately stunned by her as she gave her big smile as if she could recognize me with some phase of my Teen Wolf beard I was growing. It was then, that I started thinking “don’t screw this up” instead of “here we go.” As we both cranked down the first margarita, I can remember her first real laugh and me not being sure if it was at me or with me. We talked for hours, laughing, telling life stories, me bringing up just about everything there is to know about me. When I snapped out of the spell she put in me in, I realized they were getting ready to close. Never in my wildest dreams did I know this was the beginning of the rest of my life with her.
Sophia, her daughter, is something special that you can only hope to know and have her rainbow-unicorn-sprinkle-sparkle-mermaid marks left on you. Her energy level is as big as her heart. She has humor beyond her years and is not scared to call it like she sees it. I remember the 5 seconds she was shy (maybe the only time) when Parker and I had the chance to meet her at Main Event. After about 10 minutes, the bond started to form. We were a team against Daniela bowling. I got to flirt with Daniela, she got to pick on her. Win win. Meanwhile, Parker is throwing down her Cancun bartop and splits, maybe even holding a slice of pizza laughing. That was the beginning of the 11 month run of Tik Tok dances that are still going strong.
Fast forward from December to March, COVID joins our party. We had an opportunity through crisis to spend an incredible amount of time with each other and the girls. They quickly loved like sisters (whether they will tell you or not is different), played like sisters, picked on each other like sisters and at the same time have each other backs when it gets serious. Daniela showed Parker and myself how life is supposed to be. Daniela was creative in ways I never imagined to keep us all entertained, active(ish) and most importantly FED. I quickly knew I wanted nothing more than to spend the rest of my life with her, but really without COVID – it can go.
In my best Pulp Fiction, I’m brining you full circle and I hope you didn’t fall asleep or need to take a whiskey break while reading this. Many of you haven’t had the chance to hear and know how much Daniela and Sophia mean to me and the excitement of blending our families and seeing the girls have a best friend and sister bond that only sisters will know. There is a side of me that only Daniela was able to access and that genuine happiness and love continues to overflow. She has made me better, more open, caring, giving, patient, insert thesaurus.com and I can’t believe it’s taken my entire life to finally understand what it is supposed to feel like.
CLIFF NOTES: If you are reading this, you are special to me, not like space (another one for FW folks), but special and there is nothing more I could ask for than for you to join us as we start this new chapter of a story continuing to be written – even if she has the pen.
P.S. - There is a solid chance Daniela rewrote my NY Times Best Seller.