My 2019 was painted by two events: I was still recovering from Trump's election as the US president; and I met Kerr. As Trump worked hard to make America great again, he was inadvertently making my life hard again. His policies affected my line of work adversely. Consequently, I was sent on a mission to work in the office where Kerr was working at the time. Looking back, Trump did one good thing after all!
Around that time, I was very single and wondering when I would meet a kind, loving, caring and born again ...Trump. Just to air out some of my concerns as part of his collateral damage. I later came to learn that Kerr's marital status then was "an onion for a situation". She was living through her "...hufunzwa na ulimwengu" part of life; and to my surprise, Trump was not involved!
As a stranger, Kerr had a professional image at work that was way beyond her age. Saying "hi" to Kerr in the morning felt like she would have otherwise utilized that time to smash the organizational goals sooner. She had a presence that silenced the printers; faded away colleagues; and commanded my attention. Being at ease around her would have earned me so much self-respect! Making sense around her was a straight-up KO, Black Belt. Just to cover all grounds, I do confirm that I was still productive at work because.......Trump was still the president!
Nonetheless, we shared memorable moments over mid-morning tea breaks, where I learnt that she dislikes milk. You should have seen how I held on to that conversation like a vaccine in mid-2020. My life depended on it. We shared one lunch break in a kibandasky around that time. We had fish and very tasty stories about her schoolwork and her dreams. This lunch break (1 hr) formed the longest time (at a go) we ever shared over the period of my mission. After about 2 months at her office, my mission came to an end and I reported back to my office. We continued through 2019 as good friends.
I learnt not to despise the various seasons in life, especially the adverse ones. No experience ever goes to waste. If Trump was not elected; if I was not assigned to Kerr's office etc. The steps of a righteous man are ordered by the Lord. I am forever grateful for 2019.
It's hard to testify of a long-distance relationship without mentioning God's grace, patience and strength. I never thought I could pull such until grace found me. Our online dating journey has been full of intentionality; poor internet connectivity; someone sleeping through our scheduled call time (I wont drop names today since marriage covers all 'flaws' apparently); long, deep vulnerable conversation & moments; online dinner dates; and journaling about our journey.
Not in my wildest dreams did I imagine that I’d be cut out to thrive so well in a long distance relationship. In my mind, this had always been such a white man's fairy tale that would never be my reality. But see God, He proved me wrong once again. This features so intrinsically in our story. A part of our love story, so important, our journey wouldn’t make sense without it.
Anyway, in between the “Babe, can you hear me? Can you see me? Let me hang up then call you back again,” the foundation of our friendship was built. Let's not call it patience or resilience for now. The witty, fun, uncomfortable and vulnerable conversations were had during this time. Distance had nothing on us! We were so keen on trusting God for our journey, nothing else mattered. If poor network does not mean improving your networking skills, then you were not determined enough. If bad video quality did not inspire me to walk by faith and not by sight, sis I was not ready. If sleeping through the call did not mean that we've caught up enough, I would act the joker and get an Oscar for it.
I have loved and been loved (kwa mtandao) in ways I never imagined possible. God, hands down, outdid Himself with the gift of this man. What a show-off by the heavens if not my reality. Deal is too good, it's cute to watch it sleep through the call (by now you know who’d sleep through our scheduled call time).
Would I have wished to have done this journey any other way? A huge NO. God orchestrated our journey way before we knew it. For He knew you before you were in your mother's womb. Back in 2019, we were such good friends who’d catch up through the night and only go to bed at sunrise. The long conversations and getting to know each other led us here. For me, it had always been Oscar way before I knew it. Our online dating was fun while it lasted (well it's still lasting for a few more days). But I’m so excited that the distance is finally coming to an end!
Our journey reminds me of a limitless God. One that my imagination of an ideal dating life cannot ‘box’. I’m forever grateful for the journey that has been. The calls have led to ‘The Call.’ It's our becoming. Its called 'onening'. Being part of His Calling, I gladly choose to answer to it.
If you are a perfectionist, planning a proposal can be a strenuous activity, but possible. If you are dating Kerr, surprising her can be an ambitious activity, and impossible. To succeed, I needed to hire think tanks and strategists; rent a safe house for the secret; install cctv cameras to monitor her movements; and watch money heist (Sn 1-5) in preparation for a professorial stint.
The fact that I would go all out for Kerr created a huge probability space for the proposal idea. Settling for one idea was calculus. At some point I wondered whether that was me being flexible or indecisive. To show you how my mind played games on me, the moment I settled on one idea made me wonder if that was me being rigid or assertive. The search for a better option never stops. Making a decision straightens your back and makes you dangerous. Dreams fear a decided mind, so I learnt. I settled on an idea and a date.24 July 2021, DDay. I woke up wondering how little I had slept that night. I had slept fine-tuning the proposal in my head. The ring was burning on my bedside. On the previous evening, I had practiced on a few songs on my guitar at my sister's house. My audience during the practice consisted of my niece (Chrysser) and my two sisters (Gina and Valine). Hii mbogi iliniblaze na chocha design ya rizla! In other words, mafans wangu walisema ndio.
I was careful not to leave the ring behind when I went to meet her. She had no idea of what the day had in store for her. Lucky for me, her day was open and flexible enough to accommodate a detour to the proposal destination (Kiambu). I had made prior arrangements with a picnic company (@picnicsbynjoki on Instagram) to support in putting together a small but elegant picnic.
We had lunch on a random venue first before I took her to our space. I could see the photographer (@kingkaris on Instagram) behind the trees, carefully capturing the lie that Kerr was in and the hysteria that was building within me. Kerr did not caption the ghost clicks from the bush.I then escorted Kerr to the set picnic. It was unmistakable. Njoki made setting up a picnic seem like a spiritual gift. Gifted hands. I ushered Kerr to her seat and I picked up my guitar. I gathered some courage and sang a mash-up of three choruses that are very dear to us. By this time a few passersby had stopped by for a live coverage. In my world they only achieved more tension within me. I soldiered on to the last note and then went on my knees to pop the question.
Amongst the achievements of the day, I surprised Kerr. For those who know her, also know that this deserved a Grammy. She said Yes!