"We'll get along if...you're willing to turn social distancing into a You've Got Mail opportunity. Shopgirl is waiting, NY152! Like and offer your best message," I wrote as my "icebreaker" on Hinge. Dhruv liked the post on Hinge, sent a digital rose on the app...and the rest is history!
But to skim over what happened between that first rose on Hinge and our first date, I would ignore what really made me fall in love with Dhruv: his kindness, his patience, his love of family, and his way with words! After making first contact in late March 2021, Dhruv was willing to wait two months for a first date because I, stressed and weary from COVID-era teaching, needed the time to get back to my best self. During those two months, just like Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks, we learned about each other through writing. By the time Dhruv walked up to meet me at the entrance of the Virginia Museum of Fine Arts, we had so much to say and could have kept talking after three hours if he hadn't had to keep on driving to Asheville, NC!
After a first date at my favorite Richmond spot, we had our second date in DC. Dhruv planned a full and fun day with macarons in Georgetown, lunch at a Maketto on H Street, and a stroll through the Spy Museum (at my request) before a goodbye milkshake near Capitol Hill. And he greeted me with books from Asheville! He knew the way to my heart.
In between each date that summer, we made trips to our hometowns, so when I saw Dhruv again for a worldly small plates dinner and friend's concert in Richmond, I had a bagful of Wisconsin treats to share with him. He brought Racine Kringles and Luna Coffee to Dubai, and his family sensed that something was up. :) All the while, we continued to write back and forth, telling each other about our days, the friends and family we visited, and favorite memories from the past or new ones we were making. When I visited Arlington for a long weekend in August, Dhruv gave me a box of cards he'd written to me during his time away and served me homemade chicken tikka masala. This was the man for me!
That August weekend was the first of nearly one hundred that we've spent together. Since then, we've logged lots of miles driving back and forth on I-95; we can't wait to narrow the distance later this summer once we've both moved into our new house in Herndon!
We got engaged on December 23rd, 2022! I took Stefanie to India for Christmas break, and much planning needed to be done beforehand.
The Ring: Stefanie's friends Chelsea, Molly and Ashley came up with the idea of an engagement ring that looked like her mother's. Working off a photo from 1977, my mom (Kalpana) had a ring designed and made in Dubai.
The Families: I went to Wisconsin in November on the pretext of attending Stefanie's niece's 4th birthday (thank you, Charlotte!) Once there, I got some time alone with her dad (Gerry), to ask for Stefanie's hand in marriage. He was so kind and welcoming -- as he and the entire Jochman family have been every time I have visited. With permission secured, I shared the news with others in the family, and they were elated!
Meanwhile, my parents began planning an engagement party in Bangalore, India. With thousands of miles between the two families, it wouldn't be possible for most people from India to be able to attend a wedding in the States. The party in Bangalore would be an opportunity for our family and friends in India to partake in the celebrations.
The Proposal: Stefanie had a feeling that I would be proposing to her during our India trip; she just didn't know when, where and how! Along with my dearest friends Ashwin and Aditi, I planned a secret trip to Shimla, in the Himalayas. So on 22nd December, I asked Stefanie to pack her bags with winter clothes (we were already in Bangalore, India by then) and board a flight with me to the city of Chandigarh (in the state of Punjab).
Once there, we met up with Ashwin and Aditi, and took a 4-hour car ride up into the mountains. Our destination: The Oberoi, Wildflower Hall (in Shimla).
I planned an outdoor proposal on the hotel grounds with the Wildflower Hall team. We had a gazebo overlooking the Himalayas that they decked out with flowers, candles and coal-fires (it was a very cold night!) They also arranged a private chef at the gazebo; he prepared a traditional Himachali feast -- a 7-course meal! You can see a video of the proposal below.
The Party: After celebrating Christmas in (gorgeous!) Shimla, we made our way back to Bangalore. We were coming to the end of a magnificent, life-changing holiday, but Stefanie had one more surprise coming her way! My parents had arranged a beautiful engagement party for the night of December 27th, and it would be a chance for her to meet our family and friends in Bangalore. Both my parents grew up in this city and the folks who attended were relations going back to their childhoods.
The best part of this event was the surprise -- Stefanie had already met quite a few of our family and friends earlier in the trip, but they all kept mum (about the proposal and the engagement!) Most of them said something like "it was nice to meet you! Hopefully we'll see you again before you leave."
The party was a very sweet note on which to end the trip -- one on which we created memories for life.
Dhruv and I spent our first Christmas together (2021) in Dubai, his hometown. We stayed with his family and enjoyed trips to the World Expo (pictured here), the Presidential Palace of Abu Dhabi, and the House of Wisdom in Sharjah as well as a food tour of the regional delights of Bur Dubai. Most importantly, we visited with family, friends, and Dhruv's treasured yellow lab, Rafa. On Christmas Eve, we brunched with Dhruv's grade school and college friends, and we ended the night taking an abra boat across Dubai Creek for a tour of the souks with Ashwin, one of Dhruv's best college friends. I may not have attended high school with Dhruv, but by taking an abra boat with him, I had a peek at what could have been a high school sweetheart date night in Dubai! And Ashwin would join us for another important date nearly a year later when he and his wife Aditi accompanied us to Shimla for Dhruv's proposal!
Dhruv's cousin Anu and her husband Dev hosted a delicious Christmas lunch (the star dish was his Aunt Beena's pork curry), and his young cousins Kael and Aaric kept everyone entertained with music and games. It was a delight to discover that Christmas with Dhruv's family felt as warm and festive as Jochman Christmas back in Wisconsin.
Thanksgiving 2021 was quite a leap for this budding romance. I had just professed my love to Stefanie and we were celebrating 6 months since our first date. Off we went, on a 15-hour roadtrip from Richmond, VA to Wisconsin! I'd only met her family on video-calls before this, and she had met my dad (Deepak) for the first time a few weeks prior when he was visiting me in DC. I was quite self-conscious -- what would they all think of me? Would I be intruding on a family event? These concerns were put to rest the moment I met her dad (Gerry) and step-mom (Mary-Jo). I got the warmest hugs from both when we arrived at their home in Appleton, WI! Their sweet dog, Milo, was also on the welcoming committee.
We had a great, stress-free drive to Wisconsin, full of cheery tunes, podcasts and trivia sessions. This length of car journey was new to me but routine to Stefanie. She had her stops plotted out and prepared the car with all manner of snacks and beverages. Our overnight stop was at West Lafayette, IN (at Purdue University) -- where we met up with one of Stef's friends Liz at an IHoP very late at night.
The night before Thanksgiving, we stayed over at the home of Stef's youngest brother (Jeremy) in Sheboygan, WI -- the town where she grew up! I got to meet his wife (Lindsey), her brother Kris and his family (wife Leslie, daughter Charlotte and newborn baby Martin). It was a beautiful night -- we enjoyed home-made pizza and a bonfire in their backyard. I even got to work in the kitchen, preparing a Lamb Roganjosh for Thanksgiving day.
Thanksgiving itself was so much fun! Once we got to Appleton (Gerry and Mary-Jo's home), we had a day full of food, introductions (a good 20 Jochman family members), dogs, games and sport. What a thoroughly enjoyable time made even more memorable by the warmth of the reception I got. I had the pleasure of meeting more of Stefanie's circle in the following days -- friends and ex-colleagues from her time in Wisconsin.
This was such a great trip for the both of us. I believe we silently began preparing for a life together during these days.
